Verskillend
by Novocain
Summary: [Harry doesn’t realize reality until he sees a redhead falling to the mud with a soundless cry, until the girl isn’t standing beside Harry anymore because her throat is sliced open and a splatter of her blood is all over his face.] Three different paths.


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--_These repetitive words--_

And Harry doesn't defeat the Dark Lord.

He had been so sure he would, because he has to, right? That's the way it goes: good beats back the evil. Harry doesn't realize that sometimes the good loses. He doesn't realize that sometimes the evil wins. He doesn't realize reality until he sees a redhead falling to the mud with a soundless cry, until the girl isn't standing next to him anymore because her throat is sliced open and a splatter of blood is all over Harry's face. Hermione's red blood is all over his face, and she is dead.

Ron's red hair in the mud, and he is dead.

The last thing he hears is this: _hissing laughter _**(_Avada Kedavra_)**_ – then the rush of a cold wind._

The last thing he sees is this: _crimson eyes that make up the whole world – red like Ron's hair, red like Hermione's blood, and Harry isn't really so sad to die because he is going where the dead go, going where everyone he loves is._

The last thing he says is this: **(_Sectumsempra)_**_ but that doesn't matter because his spell misses anyways; his eyes are blurred by tears, and someone else's _Sectumsempra_ has killed Hermione. What words really matter are the ones he mutters into the mud as he lies on his back and stares into the eyes of death. No one can hear them, though, so…_

And Harry doesn't defeat the Dark Lord.

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--_All personal breakthroughs—_

//don't you know i fear the future, doll?//

Someone says **(_I never forgive, but I always forget_)** as a teenaged Severus passes him in the hall, and he considers that maybe those words are important – that maybe those words could be applied to something, could change the huge, hazy futures –

And two decades later he watches as Granger, a fairly scary girl, snarls unintelligible words at a forever-dense Weasley, and Weasley whimpers and grabs the Potter boy's arm, and Potter snickers –

And Severus has forgotten (not forgiven) all about it.

But //don't you know i ignore the future because i fear it?// is written in Potter's every movement, in his very existence, and Severus won't have the world be damned because their savior is a scared little kid. He barks for the boy to stay behind and receives a respectful glance, not a fearful one. Professor Snape is known to be very fair, after all.

Severus says what he wants to say. **(_You're scared and you don't think you'll win. Albus hasn't been training you, and he's a fool not to have done so. From now on, I'll be training you. Occlumency will cut off any mental connection you have with the Dark Lord; we shall work on this first, as it has the most immediate risk. Don't backtalk and we'll be fine._)**

Potter looks somewhat dazed when Severus finishes, but he nods in shocked agreement, and Severus shoos him out. He has research to do – he is sure he is on the verge of a breakthrough as to what immortality spells the Dark Lord may have utilized –

And Harry Potter defeats the Dark Lord.

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--_To be alone--_

Harry is never alone, not really; the Dark Lord is always in his head, in his thoughts and subconscious and watching from behind Harry's pretty green eyes. Voldemort watches, and he _knows_ – he knows everything, and Harry knows nothing.

Not even that he is never alone.

So when Harry is led by the ghostly doe to the pond that contains the Sword, he is ambushed by a lone Voldemort. The Dark Lord has learned from past encounters, oh yes – he simply drags a pitted dagger across Potter's throat and has done with the dramatics and witnesses.

Hermione's wand falls through the iced-over pond and settles beside the Sword. Ron bursts into the clearing a second too late – Harry has already bled out, and Voldemort cut his throat so deeply that Ron can see ragged, white tubes – and manages only a scream of rage before Voldemort calmly intones **(_Stupefy_).**

(Ron doesn't die for three years. He never hears word of Hermione, but she always was a clever witch. She could hide herself.

He doesn't give up hope of rescue until what his torturers tell him is the 425th day. Maybe that is why he never hears word of his girlfriend – he is being tortured, after all. Either she is dead, or he is abandoned.

He is very glad when he finally dies.)

Because Harry was never alone, not really.

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A/N: If it's not up to my usual standards, I'm sorry. I'm sick. Bronchitis with a sinus infection on top of it, not to mention nicotine withdrawal - I'm not allowed to smoke b/c of the bronchitis. I also haven't manged to sleep in the last twelve hours, but I'm exhausted because I'm so sick. Encouragement would be really great right about now, guys. I'm about ready to give up and go smoke. I'll cough myself to death, yeah, but I also won't be so restless. Death gets points for making the cravings go away. 

Also, the title, _Verskillend_, means "different" in a certain language. The first to guess what language that is gets to demand any one-shot they want.

I reread this and cringe. It's so disjointed - nothing to tie them together... Well, I hate my Saiyuki fic more.


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